Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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