Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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