come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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