like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
PANTIES FOUND
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
