jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize