You really coming over, don't trick.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
