Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
