By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
