The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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