seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
