Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
