I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize