we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
