I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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