I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
