...so i touched it.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
