I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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