Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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