the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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