No stitches, just platelets and will power
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
