I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
