i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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