no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
