I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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