I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
