why didn't you poke me back
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
