My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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