so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Randomize
