It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
