Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
