I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
