I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize