so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
