do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
