Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
