you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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