I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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