Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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