i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Randomize
