What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize