idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
