Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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