Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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