And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
