She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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