Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
