I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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