Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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