I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Verdict: uncircumcised.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
