the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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