I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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