i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
