Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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