I'm going to rape someone's good day.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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