He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
