i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
