i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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