you mean i was at the winter classic?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
