So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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