So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
