ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
