your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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