Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize