In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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