..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Randomize
