Soap is not a condiment
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
