Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize