That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
kristin has been a bad kristin
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
