Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
