porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
