The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize