ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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