Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
