I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
